He-Man 9000 Super Strong Ultra Beer!

Here it is in all its glory!

I give you ... He Man 9000 Super Strong Ultra Beer.

Pity it tastes so bad.

WRITER ON THE ROAD - India 2008

It is the end of week 5 in India and any country that has "He-Man 9000 Super Strong Ultra Beer" can't be all bad. I'm picking up lots of material (keep an eye out for He-Man 9000 in the next Blood story), but not having much time to write.

Last weekend the Team and I went white water rafting on the Ganges - which is a lot more attractive than it sounds. The picture in this blog is of the campsite called 5 Elements on the Ganges (or Ganga as it is called in India). Very nice.

The tents were described on the web site as Swiss luxury tents. It was only when we arrived that we worked out that they must have been called Swiss due to all the holes! The camp site is about 230 km's from Delhi, however the roads are a nightmare and it was a 9 hour drive each way. This makes for a fairly exhausting weekend but nevertheless it was nice to see some wilderness.

One thing that I find wearying in India is that there are always people everywhere - lots of people, making lots of noise. The actual rafting was fairly sedate (nothing over a grade 3) but still fun.

We were sharing the raft with an aspiring Bollywood actress called Bhairavi Goswami and her friend Youvan. They were good company.

I'm quite interested in the whole caste thingy they have going on here. Sounds like a rich seam of juicy writing goodness could be mined from this. I was under the impression that your job defined your caste (i.e. if you were a soldier you were in the soldier caste). Apparently that is not the case. Your caste is defined by your families caste. When a lady marries she becomes her husbands caste.

In Hindu society there are 4 main castes:

1. Brahmins (intelligentsia, priests, scholars, teachers)
2. Kshatriyas (warriors, nobility)
3. Vaishyas (merchants, farmers),
4. Sudras (tradesmen, artisans, craftsmen, workers, service providers)

You can read all about it in Wikipedia.

Of course it is not as simple as this - apparently there are actually thousands of castes which the British compressed down to 4 to make census taking easier. Marrying outside your caste in parts of India is very dangerous - every week people are killed because of this. A Hindu marrying a Muslim is also problematic, it is easier for a Hindu to marry a Christian.

I'm struggling with the whole servant thing. There are 3 house boys looking after the apartment. They cook, clean, wash, iron, go shopping, etc. I have a driver, there is a couple of Butlers in the office and I have a PA. You don't do anything for yourself and it is driving me crazy - It must be an Australian thing. The Brit's seem to cope much better.

Well it must be time for another He-Man 9000. Enjoy your weekend.

REVIEW - The Solution

I came across this review of my story "The Solution" at Static Movement.

"First off, congrats again to Chris and Static Movement on another fine issue. In these times of change, chaos and monumental failure, Static Movement remains an oasis of dependability and steadfastness. Thank you Chris!

And on to the story...

Mainly I just wanted to say I enjoyed this piece of flash, even though horror isn't my cup of tea at all. The ending was very cute, and inventive. Perfect flash - good job David Such!

John Gilbert"

It always amazes me that people actually read my stories and getting positive feedback is great. In fact any feedback is great. I feel that if you write something that stimulates feelings (positive or negative) then you have achieved something. Thanks to John for taking the time to jot down a few words.

Now I'm off to try white water rafting on the Ganges. I think I may attempt to not fall in!

WEBZINE - The Specusphere

Issue 5 is out now!

Editorial
The English Curriculum by Stephen Thompson
Editorial afterthought—The elephant in the room by Stephen Thompson

Features
The quintessential speculative fiction album by Stephen Thompson
3 questions for The Specusphere by Stephen Thompson
Cyborg by Brendan David Carson

Writing and Publishing
The Serendipity of Publishing by Astrid Cooper

Up and Coming
New Books from Gollancz for November-December 2008
New Releases from Orbit

People
Jaine Fenn in conversation with Maurie Breust
Marillier revisits Sevenwaters in latest release

Book Reviews
HEIR TO SEVENWATERS by Juliet Marillier
AWAKENING by Lara Morgan
THE BEAST WITHIN edited by Matt Hults
INFECTED by Scott Sigler
THE NINTH CIRCLE by Alex Bell
PRINCIPLES OF ANGELS by Jaine Fenn
THE BRIDE OF TIME by Dawn Thompson
THE LAST THEOREM by Arthur C. Clarke and Frederik Pohl
NIGHT SHIFT by Lilith Saintcrow
FLOOD by Stephen Baxter
ALL-STAR SUPERMAN Volume One (Comic) by Grant Morrison and Frank Quitely
GHOST WALK by Brian Keene
BEFORE I WAKE by Kathryn Smith
A DISTANT MAGIC by Mary Jo Putney

Fiction
Nigel's Evening by David Schembri
Call Waiting by Bill Youatt-Pine
The forever-green by Ashley Hibbert

WRITER ON THE ROAD - India 2008

Received my first dose of Delhi Belly yesterday and it was a beauty. My diaphragm is still aching from all the action. Hopefully I have ticked that box and we can move on.

Another story of Indian life ...

There is a main highway here called NH8 and apparently there was a dispute between the local and state government about who would provide lighting for a new stretch of road. A local entrepreneur came along and offered to power the lights for a reasonable fee. His solution was to have a man sit on the medium strip and top up a diesel generator as required. This is the solution that they went with!

And another ...

Me "Do you know where you are going?"

Taxi Driver "Yes"

We arrive at a Hotel and I can't see the people that I am meeting, so I call them.

Me "Where are you?"

Them " We are here"

It turns out that I am at the wrong hotel. I say to the taxi driver, "I thought you knew where you were going?"

"I did," he replied. It turns out that I was asking the wrong question. It should have been. "Do you know where I am going?" He knew where he was going - it just wasn't the same place that I was going.

It seems that in India people don't like letting you down and saying no. I think this is a cultural aspect of some Asian countries as well.

Haven't had a chance to write a word since I have been here. I did pen a Flash piece at Hong Kong International airport but that was over 3 weeks ago.

WRITER ON THE ROAD - India 2008

Hello from India!

I have just started a 3 month assignment in India which is very exciting. Over the next 3 months I plan to try and add some Indian spice to my works. We will see how that turns out.

I'm situated in Delhi (the capital) but I should get the opportunity to see quite a bit of the country. At the moment I am just trying to remember all the details that make another country different, for example there is dust every where and a kind of permanent grey haze (think Blade Runner) over the city. At night the haze turns into an eerie fog which make all the cars look like they are traveling under water (I have moved on to The Abyss) .

The traffic is mad. There are no rules and the horn is used more as an echo sounder than an instrument of anger. In fact all the drivers are remarkably relaxed given the chaos.

Another interesting thing - when you order a beer in a bar, the waiter will bring the bottle over and wait for you to feel that it is cold enough before they will pour it. This can lead to some awkward moments for the newcomer as you sit there looking at the beer bottle and wondering why he is showing it to you. "yes a very good year but do you have it in an 08?"

It would be great to work some of this stuff into a story.

WEBZINE - Eclecticism

The first anniversary issue of Eclecticism is out now!

Featuring work from: Richard Butler, Peter Lingard, Mark McAuliffe, Amy Mackiewicz, Keith Nunes, Syd Monkhouse, Lawrence Salani, Ian C Smith, Les Wicks and Jessica Madden.

Click here to take the eclectic journey!

WEBZINE - Static Movement

The October Edition of Static Movement is out now.

Check out "The Solution" and let me know what you think.

WRITING QUOTES - From CS Weekly

Bumped up again ^^^

WRITING SOFTWARE - Name Generators

Names are interesting things. The meaning of names is even more interesting. For instance, David comes from Hebrew and means "Beloved". Such is from the Anglo-Saxon word for "Tree Stump." So altogether my name means "Beloved Tree Stump." Probably not the name you would choose for the next Galactic Emperor.

Speaking of names, I am hopeless at thinking up names for my characters. Consequently most of the time I use the names of our dogs (past and present).

This is probably doing a disservice to my works of art as a carefully crafted name can add to your story, providing a layer of resonance and meaning. A characters name is one way of providing clues about your protagonists nature. A character named Bozo or Jeeves comes with a pre-populated personality, which you should probably avoid because it is too obvious (although I guess you could play with this - how about an evil Bozo who becomes the next Galactic Emperor? Who voted for this clown? Yuk Yuk Yuk).

Moving right along ...

So if you want to avoid using clichéd names for the folks that populate your stories, how about using a name generator? There are stacks out there. For Fantasy names try:

- The Fantasy Name Generator

If you are interested in the history or etymology of names try:

- Behind the Name

They also have a random name generator.

For the mother of all naming sites try Seventh Sanctum. The have everything from evil name generators to pirate ship name generators.

Happy naming!

WEBZINE - The Specusphere Issue 4

Issue 4 is out now!!

Pop over to www.specusphere.com and check it out.

It includes my new story, "Hell Hath No Fury." I'm always interested in feedback. Let me know if you liked it (or not) and why.

In this issue

Editorial
Where do I come from? by Stephen Thompson

Features
Irrealism and the Bizarro movement by Stephen Thompson
Ray-guns for Rocketeers by Jeff Harris

Up and Coming
Ford Street Makes Waves
The Wisdom of Water by John Archer
New Books from Gollancz for September–October 2008
New Books from Tor for September

People
Creating Memorable Characters: interview and discussion with Fiona McIntosh by Astrid Cooper

Writing and Publishing
Where do (writing) ideas come from? by Bill Youatt-Pine

Fiction
Hell Hath No Fury by David Such
Dolphin Dreaming by Ashley Hibbert
Chopped up Cut up by Damien Kane

Poetry
The Curse by Felix Calvino

Film Reviews
The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor, directed by Rob Cohen
Journey to the Center of the Earth, directed by Eric Brevig
The Happening, directed by M. Night Shyamalan
Hellboy II: The Golden Army, directed by Guillermo Del Toro

Book Reviews
The Wheel of Darkness by Douglas Preston and Lincoln Child
Son et Lumiere by Ian Nichols
Saturn’s Children by Charles Stross
Phantom Pleasures by Julie Leto
Midnight Never Come by Marie Brennan
Black Ships by Jo Graham
Bewitched by Sandra Schwab
Incandescence by Greg Egan
Heart-shaped Box by Joe Hill
Swiftly by Adam Roberts

BUSINESS OF WRITING - Tax

IMPORTANT NOTE SO THAT I DON'T GET IN TROUBLE - I am not a financial advisor and this is NOT financial advice. You need to go and see your accountant about this stuff. The following is provided to provoke discussion on the topic only!

Would you like to offset your writing expenses against your primary income and reduce your tax bill?

It sounds great in theory and the good news is that there is case law which shows that being a full time employee in an unrelated field does not prevent you from doing this.

For any international readers, I apologise in advance, this Blog will be very Australian-centric.

So what can you potentially claim? Anything which contributes towards you producing a writing income. This could include:

• Internet costs (ADSL fees, hosting and domain name fees, virius software, etc.)
• Marketing and advertising costs.
• Related travel costs - may be tricky.
  
• Depreciation on your computer, printer, router, NAS, etc.
• Other software costs like OS, and word processor.
• Any accounting fees (you should have these - go and see an accountant, if they are any good you will recover their fees many times over!)
  
• Depreciation of your home office furniture (assuming you do this from home)
• Membership fees for relevant organisations (AHWA anyone?)
  
• A proportion of home office expenses like: utilities (electricity, gas, phone, water); and depreciation on fittings (curtains, carpets and lights).

Note that you CAN NOT claim things like rent, mortgage interest, insurance and rates. Also note that if you do claim the office expenses detailed above, this may have capital gains tax implications when it comes time for you to sell your property. You need to weigh up the costs and benefits of this strategy.

How do you convince the ATO that these are legitimate tax deductions? Well this is what they look at:

1. Is the purpose of the writing activity to make a profit? You need to intend to make a profit at some point (and hence pay tax) otherwise it is just another loss making hobby - anyone want to buy a vineyard? A business plan helps demonstrate your intentions here. If you send all of your pieces to magazines that don't pay - you may have a problem.
   
2. The volume and regularity of the activities, particularly as it compares to similar businesses. Writing one short story a month is probably not going to cut the mustard.
3. Running a P&L and balance sheet, having business premises, an agent, licences or qualifications, a registered business name and an ABN all helps.
4. The level of annual turnover. If your revenue is $20 per annum it is difficult to argue that you are running a business.
5. The amount of capital employed. You are unlikely to get the tick on this one as writing is not a capital intensive business. The ATO are looking for around $1M of capital invested. Please let me know if anyone has done this - I will be VERY impressed.
   

Another area that you need to consider is what sort of legal entity is the best for your arrangement (i.e. sole trader, partnership or company). This is another large subject which deserves a Blog of its own.

Want to know more? For anything that you will ever need to know about the business of writing go and check out the article by Ian Irvine on:

The Truth about Publishing at http://www.ian-irvine.com/

WRITING QUOTES - Your Favourites

Do you have a favourite quote? Let me know and I will post it up. Our first contribution is from Antonio Barnes in Madrid.

"Ideas aren't innocent"
Antonio Barnes (http://forumnovum.blogspot.com/)

WRITING QUOTES - From CS Weekly

A Collection of Writing Quotes from CS Weekly (www.creativescreenwriting.com):

Updated above ^^^^

WRITING - Character Generation

Interested in well rounded, fascinating characters that leap off the page? Then the following are some links to assist you in generating them. This was originally posted by prophet224 on the yWriter Google Group.

To quote the prophet:

"Here are a bunch of suggestions. There's a lot here. Go to the
bottom for a large pdf download of character questions and things to
know about your character. I hope this helps! :) Most of this stuff
is related to RPG character creation, but it should help and serve
double duty!

****************************************************************

Burning Void's character questionnaire:
(http://www.burningvoid.com/rpg/2001/pcquestions.php)

Burning Void's pdf book, "365 Character Questions for Writers and
Roleplayers," under "Downloads":
http://www.burningvoid.com/rpg/plcharacter.php

Fiction Writer's Character Chart:
http://www.eclectics.com/articles/character.html

The 100 Most Important Things to Know About Your Character:
http://www.geocities.com/poetess47/100questions.html

Character Questions from WritingClasses.com:
http://www.writingclasses.com/InformationPages/index.php/PageID/106

Proust's Character Questionnaire:
http://www.scripsit.com/questionnaire.html

(I'd like to acknowledge the blog "The Naked Truth" for some of these
links: http://nmallory.exit-23.net/ )


Another source of interesting questions is "The Book of Questions":

http://www.burningvoid.com/review/2001/thebookofquestions.php
(Example: Question #4: “If you could spend one year in perfect
happiness but afterward would remember nothing of the experience would
you do so? If not, why not?”

http://www.burningvoid.com/review/2005/bookofquestionsloveandsex.php

http://www.burningvoid.com/review/2005/boqbusinessethics.php

*******************************************************
Questions:
http://jtevans.kilnar.com/rpg/newchar.php

100 things to know about your character:
http://www.geocities.com/poetess47/100questions.html

More (maybe the same?) questions:
http://www.errantdreams.com/static/pc_questions

Various creation and design links:
http://zioth.com/roleplay/

Questions Download:
http://www.errantdreams.com/files/365charques.pdf

WRITING QUOTES - From CS Weekly

Updated Above ^

USEFUL STUFF - Piclens

Not writing related but nevertheless you need to install PicLens for your browser! This is the first web 2 application that I have seen done well. In fact it is brilliant.

In the words of the website (www.piclens.com) "Transform your browser into a full-screen, 3D experience for online photos and videos." There is a version for all the major browsers.

It looks like something that Apple would develop, except it is free. If you are ever looking for images on the net then this little fella is a gotta have. You get the picture.

STORY BACKGROUND - The Long Green Goodbye

Issue 122 (July-August 2008) of AntipodeanSF is now available at www.antisf.com, so head on over and wallow in the trough of speculative goodness. While you are there make sure you check out Felicity's story "Windows to the Soul" and enjoy a Kodak moment. Now a bit about my story ...

ABOUT The Story

The Long Green Goodbye was inspired by an old Schweppes lemonade commercial that I loved. The advertisement was done in the style of the hard-boiled detective stories by Raymond Chandler - but funnier. One of the lines was something like, "a tall blonde walked past my window, I could tell that she was tall as my office was on the 2nd floor." *he he he*

The title is homage to the Travis McGee novels by John D. MacDonald. His 21 novels regarding this amateur sleuth all had a colour in the title and the first three novels in the series were published in the year that I was born. Respect.

BTW - You can read reviews of issue 122 here:

Hole in the page

Musings of an Aussie Writer

WRITING SOFTWARE - yEDIT

yEDIT from Spacejock Software.


SpaceJock Software (www.spacejock.com) has just released another handy little application. In my opinion this is good for writing short pieces (like FLASH fiction, 500 to 1000 words) and so complements yWriter which is better suited to organising longer works.

Its features include:

• a plain text editor
• a good autobackup system
  
• a countdown word counter
• an undo system
  
• log folder of your daily word count.

The counter & autobackups update when you haven't typed for 2 or 3 seconds or so.

Note that it's NOT a word processor. Spacejock wont be adding spell checking, grammar checking, formatting, fonts or any of the other trappings of Word or OpenOffice.

Give it a try - did I mention it's free!

WRITING BOOKS - Plot & Structure

Plot and Structure

By James Scott Bell









I enjoyed reading Plot and Structure, so I thought that I would jot down some of the key points that I picked up. In essence this book describes how to develop a road map for your story. Some may see this as a recipe for writing formulaic rubbish but just because every house has a plan doesn't mean that they all look the same. I have mixed my metaphors but you get the idea.

Bell acknowledges that there is a continuum of writers, from those that are capable of vomiting a stream of consciousness to those that can't get out of bed without a Gannt chart. I haven't worked out where I sit yet but I suspect that is just to the right of Genghis Kahn. No matter where you sit on that continuum, your writing will benefit from some structure and at the very least you should develop your LOCK before starting.

LOCK is a FLA (Four Letter Acronym). I guess he couldn't get it down to three.

L = Lead (who is your lead and why are they interesting?)
O = Objective (what does your lead want or want to get away from?)
C = Confrontation (what obstacles stop your lead from getting their objective?)
K = Knockout (what is the killer ending which ties up everything and resonates with the reader)

Bell argues that a strong ending can rescue a middling story. As part of the minimalist approach he recommends that you also whip up a back cover description of your story based on the LOCK. If this doesn't sound like something that you would want to read then it is time for a rethink.

By now I will have lost our less structured brethren so allow me to forge on with a bit more detail.

Bell points out that the three act structure has been in place for thousands of years which suggests that there may be something to it.

Act 1 introduces your lead and usually has an initial disturbance to get the reader interested. At or before about 1/5th the way through your word count a major disturbance occurs which thrusts your lead through a door way into Act 2. This door way is a one way trip. Once through your lead must have a reason to keep banging their head against all the obstacles you keep throwing up. This gives the story momentum and keeps people reading.

The door way to Act 3 should be at the 3/4 mark or further and is another one way trip. The trigger to crossing this threshold could be a major clue or setback, which sets you up for the final confrontation or choice in Act 3. The knockout.

Bell also talks about the rhythm of your story with the major chords being:

• Action then obstacle; and
  
• Reaction (how the lead responds and what choice is made)
  

And the minor chords:

• setup; and
• deepening

Which are added for spice.

Bell then speaks about the character arc, which editors tell me my stories don't manifest. His theory is that the arc looks something like:

Start -> Opinions -> Attitude -> Values -> Core Beliefs -> Self Image.

There is lots more in Plot and Structure, with plenty of examples from popular fiction, literary works , screenplays and comics.

I enjoyed it and will be giving some of his suggestions a go. I reckon it was well worth the $11.55 (plus postage). BTW - this is part of a series of books on Writing. There are other titles on Dialogue, Characters, Setting, etc. I have also purchased the one on Characters, Emotion and Viewpoint. Once I read that I will let you know what I think.

I bought this book on-line at www.amazon.com. Get it now while the Ozzie dollar is strong.